What’s the age limit?


So here is an interesting topic that I would like to address. What age is too old to tuck your kids in at night?

I remember when I was little my mom used to tuck me in and say goodnight. There are a lot of memories that I have blocked out over the course of my childhood so I am unsure as to when they stopped initially. I do remember that when I was in the 5th grade I was no longer getting tucked in. I would say goodnight to my mom wherever she was in the house and go to bed.

I had a much different childhood than my kids have. It seems like they demand way more of my attention than I ever demanded from my mom. My son is almost 10 and my daughter 7. I still say goodnight to them and listen to them say their prayers, turn out the lights and they go to bed. Praying together is always a positive thing. They were in a bad habit a few months ago, they would yell for me from their rooms after the lights went out because they wanted to say one more thing. I made sure to explain to them that they needed to make sure we talked about everything before the lights went out. Moms need to be able to rest at some point in the night too. 🙂

So my question for you is how do you approach telling them that they need to tuck themselves in without them feeling insecure? How do I address my daughter who is still young and needs a little more attention to her feelings and girl emotions? I feel she still benefits from being tucked in, but is that unfair to my boy if I don’t do that for him? He needs to grow into a confident young man and not be raised like a girl. I don’t wish to raise an insecure boy, however I don’t want to create insecurities along the way. I will never stop praying with my children or being there for them when they need me. I just want to make sure that they are growing up right with the proper attention to all areas.

I feel that taking that time on a daily basis to ask questions and let them know that you are there for them is vital in their growth and security. Communication is key to raising healthy kids both mentally and physically.

It’s a learning curve in being a parent, and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this topic.

Please share any advice or stories relating to this. I look forward to hearing from you!

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4 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Emily B on January 27, 2012 at 1:28 am

    Interesting topic! I thought about it and personally I think you are never too old to get one on one time with mom or dad. Dealing with kids of the same age, I feel that its a special time just for them. Few details about their day and yours, some sharing time, praying together, even answering a few questions, lets me feel like I got to put the chaos of the world aside for even 5 minutes and plug into them. Of course this could be done at anytime but thinking of myself, I, as an adult, enjoy 5 to 10 quiet minutes of attention and bonding before I close my eyes (dont we usually do this with our significant others). I think its a great way to put the day to bed also and give us that feeling of peace before we enter dreamland. I think as our children age this is even more crucial as the world is pulling harder and harder at them. I think it helps them feel secure in Im here for you, tuned in to just you and Im not going anywhere. I hope to maintain that daily one-on-one quality quiet time through childhood and especially into the teenage years. Of course I wont call it being “tucked in” 🙂 . I believe our confidence comes not from being left alone but from knowing that someone is beside me. I will not stand in front of my children but beside them as they grow. Not a shield or a crutch but an encourager and supporter. I think this isnt a gender issue at all. Our children will be male and female based on how God made them and the bodies they walk around in. We can only do whats best for them as individuals, as the people they are. Whos to say what raising them as a girl is unless of course your dressing him in dresses and her in suits. In my opinion its a far greater tragedy we’ve seen in the older generation of men who were taught you cannot feel therefore they are ignorant to their own emotions and those in others. They are the emotionally constipated adults we run into today. Incapable of recognizing, acknowledging and articulating emotions and feelings. Toddlers throwing temper tantrums in adult bodies. I think that by showing our children how to express themselves, including their emotions, they become better functioning, healthier, more successful members of society. This is simply my opinion. I have 2 children of my own and have studied people my whole life. I work in a school with many children from many backgrounds and walks of life. We all want and need to be the people who are ok with who they are in their own skin and can recognize and properly verbalize our experiences, wants and needs in any situation whether we are at work or home, wealthy or poor, 2 or 102, male or female.

    Reply

  2. Very interesting observation Emily. Thank you so much for the thought you put into this. I agree that there should always be that one on one time with your children. I know that I didnt have that connection with my mother, even though I always knew she loved me and would do anything for me, I didnt ever talk to her about boys or life. I have made it a direct point to make sure that both my kids know the door is open in all topics of life. I am very pleased that I get to hear about the girls that like my son and how to handle holding hands etc. I hearing about the boys that my daughter likes and how she feels about them at such an early age. It allows me to give them both what I was lacking as a child.

    I agree that we need to make sure the doors of communication are always open! 🙂 It is such a vital part of being a child and then an adult. If we dont talk them then who or what will they seek comfort in?

    Reply

  3. Hi! I really agree on you that “communication is key to raising healthy kids both mentally and physically”. Talking to your kids with their experience in school, how they are doing and etc everyday is truly be nice relationship you could imagine. Talking with them as early as they are now is better than later when they are in their teenage life. At least when they got there… they’re going to run to you when they have quires! 😀

    Reply

    • Yes yes! Nothing is more important than talking with them. How will they express themselves if we dont open the door to them first and teach them how to communicate their emotions or feeling properly. As a parent I am learning ALL the time and will never stop, even after they move out. It will be a different kind of parenting then. 🙂

      I appreciate your feedback! Its great to be able to bounce topics off of other parents and hear their input.

      Reply

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